Why do I put myself through it?

I keep watching medical documentaries at the moment. I'm absolutely glued to them, particularly if they involve children. I inevitably cry at some point, and yet I keep watching. Why?

The first one that sucked me in was One Born Every Minute. I think I kept watching not only because it was just fascinating, but because since I know I won't be having another child I was oddly enjoyable to watch other women in labour, safe in the knowledge that I wouldn't be experiencing that again! It reminded me about my experiences, which were both very positive, although Isabel's arrival into the world did drag on a bit, and I did vomit in the birthing pool and then broke the hydraulic hospital bed. That would have made great television!

Then earlier this week Hubs and I watched an episode of Panorama called Spoilt Rotten, which looked at kids with preventable conditions. The programme featured a five year old who was so fat his mother had to wheel him around in a wheelchair when he got too tired, and several kids ages two and up who had to have their baby teeth removed because they were so rotten from eating too many sweets or permanently sucking on a bottle. Worst of all were the kids with glue ear - one of the parents refused to admit that his smoking was a contributory factor, and just blithely continued, while his son complained of deafness. This documentary rebounded on our kids, both of whom had their teeth brushed to within an inch of their lives today!

Finally, I watched Great Ormond Street, which was just amazing. The episode I saw focused on a cardic unit, and featured the discussions amongst the surgeons as they worked out who to treat, and how. Those discussions are usually kept very much behind closed doors, and were very moving. But again, I cried, since not all of the children survived, and even those that did had other problems. Sigh. Makes me very grateful for my two happy and healthy bundles of fun. I'm not tempting fate by rubbernecking, am I...?