Don't give them excuses like this!

Never mind swine flu - the disease that really should be concerning us is man flu, as indicated in this article on the BBC news site. It is a truism that men fare worse when it comes to colds and flu - or at least, they suffer louder. It's something I've managed to knock out of Husbandio over the years, using this handy set of techniques, which I present here to my female readers. Use this kit with my blessing. It's a mixture of carrot and stick, and has worked well for me.

1. Never offer any sympathy for a cold. Simply cover the sufferer with a blanket (head included, if need be), prepare one mug of Lemsip, and then leave the room. After all, you don't want to catch the lurgy too.
2. Never react to sniffs and sideways glances, which are clearly designed to elicit the phrase "Are you feeling any better?". This only allows them to regale you with a list of their symptoms.
3. Suffer stoically through your own colds, with the help of drugs (I'd recommend Contac) and alcohol.
   
4. Offer lots of sympathy when they are actually properly ill!