It was a day....

....during which my mind and my body seemed to become somehow disconnected. Everything I touched turned to poo - for example:

1. I knocked a hot iron off the ironing board and onto the carpet, where it immediately melted said carpet and tried to glue itself on. I managed to separate the two and cleaned the iron up, but there's a lovely iron-shaped crunchy section in the middle of our living room floor now.
2. I tipped Emily's bottle of antibiotics over at lunchtime and managed to splash noxious-smelling virulent yellow liquid over my trousers (new trousers at that!), t-shirt and cardigan. Wouldn't have been so bad had I not been in IKEA, and was therefore forced to walk around the whole shop looking like some kind of scummy bag lady. Washed all clothes as soon as I got home and I think the stain's come out, thank goodness.
   
3. Bugger - writing that last point has just made me realise I forgot to give Emily her antibiotics before she went to bed. Bugger.
4. To top the day off, Emily did a big poo in the bath, causing Isabel to scream and leap out, and meaning that I then had to extract a soggy pooey baby and clean the bath before either of them could get back in.

I quite fancy a hot drink but I don't dare, I'd probably pour it in my lap. On the plus side, Isabel came out with a classic line after I'd dropped the iron, and ranted and raved a bit. She said "Mummy, be sanguine" - which is what I'd told her to be when something doesn't go her way but it's not in her power to fix it. These phrases always come back and bite you on the arse one day. But she was right, and I felt better. Still got a crunchy carpet though, and a baby with only two out of three doses of antibiotics. Damn it.