Oh dear John Terry

I don't know why the recent revelations about John Terry are surprising. "Footballer has affair" is hardly a shocker. It's a bit like "French politician has affair" - it's expected, almost de rigeur. But Terry has always seemed like a solid and well meaning fellow, not necessarily bright but somehow honest. But even then he's a footballer, so I wasn't really surprised.

I started to understand, however, as the details emerged, why he'd wanted that injunction. "Footballer has affair" - fine. "Footballer has affair with wife's best friend" - ouch, slightly sordid. "Footballer has affair with wife's best friend who also happens to be said footballer's best friend's missus" - noooooo! Really? Yuk! How to destroy your life in one fell swoop - I wonder if the three strikes and you're out rule applies in this case.

And with that little judgmental rant over, herewith a couple of John Terry jokes which are already doing the rounds.

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Latest scores: John Terry 1, Tiger Woods 12. Let me just stress that this is a latest score.

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For Valentine's Day Wayne Bridge had a model of his willy made out of Cadbury's chocolate for his girlfriend. It's a shame she prefers Terry's.


Baboom tsssccchhhhh!